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Chapter 22
The rest of the Easter Holiday passed quickly, as there were so many chores and repairs to do round the house, and homework to finish before going back to school. Summer term came and I went back to the daily grind at school.
I rarely visited my tree house. I built a small stow away in the space under my bed and brought the things in from the tub outside.
Mother noticed I had become more serious and commented favourably on my mature attitude.
A few weeks after my visit I received a letter from Carol. Inside was another envelope addressed to Paula. Carol's note simply said.
Paul
Charlie asked me for Paula’s address. I thought this would not yet be appropriate and told her so. She then asked if I could pass this on to Paula for her.
Could you pass it on and ensure only Paula receives it.
It was good to see you briefly, I hope you are well and look forward to seeing you again soon. Give my love to Mum.
Your happy sister
Carol
There was an implication in the tone that took me a few moments to work out. When the penny dropped I hid the letter from Charlie to await the right time to read it.
That right time was not until several days later. I was by then almost beside myself with curiosity to know what she had said.
Mum went out to a work function and told me that she would be very late. As soon as she had left the house I ran to my room. I retrieved my hidden clothes and started to get dressed. Then stopped.
I went to the bathroom and stripped again. I put a little warm water in the bath and soaped myself all over. I then used my razor to shave my whole body. When I was done there was not a hair anywhere on my body below my ears. My skin felt smooth and interesting. I oiled myself carefully. Then went back to my room and recommenced dressing, this time as Paula. The stockings felt lovely and sensual against my smooth skin. So did the other underwear. When I put on the silk slip and felt it slide around my smooth legs I almost melted inside. I had really enjoyed dressing up before but this added a whole new dimension. I slowly finished dressing, adjusted my hair and revelled in the feelings. This was definitely how I wanted to be.
When I was finally done and had admired myself in the mirror I pulled out the letter from Charlie.
Paula
I really enjoyed meeting you when you came up to visit Carol recently. I cannot put into words the feeling I have for you. I enjoyed your company and the things we did together. Although you seemed to like me and joined in, you were hesitant and I feel I may have offended you. That was not my intention.
Carol will not give me your address. She said it would be inappropriate. I do not know what she means by this. I would dearly like to keep in touch. I hope you receive this and think of me.
Yours affectionately
Charlie
As I read and re-read the letter I think I understood why Carol wanted it to be Paula and not Paul who read the letter. Putting on the Paula persona changed me. I could see things through Paula’s eyes differently to the way I thought and saw things as Paul.
I enjoyed the rare opportunity to dress up and walked confidently around the house until bedtime. Reluctantly I undressed and put Paula’s things away.
It was nearly a week before I had another opportunity to become Paula, and I wanted to be the right person to write back to Charlie.
I admitted that It was not possible to contact me directly but I did emphasise the “Yet” to provide a hope that things would change in the future. I suggested that in the mean time she could still contact me via Carol.
I told her that I did care for her a lot and that although I was a bit unsure of myself and there were things in my own life that I needed to sort out, I hoped to see her again the next time I came to visit Carol.
I sent the letter via Carol
Summer brightened. The weather improved and with it the hopes for the future.
After much thought and long pondering I seemed to reach a decision. Once reached the more I thought and planned the happier I became.
I made it a habit to shave my whole body every time I took a shower. Once started it was a simple matter to continue. I vowed never to return to the old Paul.
Speculatively I bought a few teenage girls magazines and read secretly about girlie things
Every opportunity I could find I would dress in as much of the female clothing as I could get away with. Often I would wear panties and bra and sometimes stockings and garter belt under my normal clothes.
So what if I was not fully dressed up? I knew I was wearing it. It felt nice. I knew that “Underneath” I felt sexy.
I took a Saturday job at a local store and saved carefully. I worked hard at school and did well.
I had the occasional letter from Carol and our relationship improved. I had not told her of my musing but the tone of my letters let her know I had forgiven her.
Carols' letters usually included a letterfrom Charlie
Chapter 23
When Carol came home for the summer holidays we had a few brief discussions in her room.
On one exciting day Mother left the house early to visit an ageing relative. As she was taking a series of bus rides, she was not due back until late at night.
As soon as she was gone I showered, shaved all over, then proceeded to dress as Paula. I carefully made myself up and styled my own hair.
When I went to Carol’s room she smiled brightly
“Wow” she beamed. “You really are into this aren’t you?”
“Yes. You have made me realise that it is a part of me. I know you think you set me up, but I don’t see it that way. You helped me discover things about myself. I much prefer to be Paula. I wish there was a way to tell Mother
And more opportunity to stop being Paul."
The rest of the day was spent discussing make up and hair styles.
As we were in the summer holidays and it would be a long time before I had to do anything where anybody might notice, Carol helped me trim and paint my toe-nails and finger nails. I asked a lot of questions about things in the magazines that I had read.
We even ventured out for a walk together.
When we passed a bar and a guy there wolfed whistled, Carol nudged me and smiled.
“That was for you” she said.
I was the one wearing the short skirt. Carol was in jeans and jumper and had not made any effort to look smart, as most of the day had been spent helping me.
I smiled and felt myself blush.
Only on a couple of days during that holiday, did I get the opportunity to fully dress as Paula. With Carol's help I dressed up again. I made up, styled my hair and painted my fingernails.
On the first such occasion I prepared breakfast, lunch and tea for Carol as a way of saying ‘Thank you’.
We spent the day chatting and giggling together.
This was what I wanted.
Chapter 24
Carol helped me to shop for a few more pretty, lacy and sexy feminie clothes that I could wear under my normal clothes. I spent some of my hard earned money. As a student she did not have much but she helped out a bit as well.
It was a shame I could not afford more, and that Mother spent Money on my boys clothes that were not getting full use.
In September I went back to school with a heavy heart. I had enjoyed the freedom of the summer more than before. At least in this my final year I did not have compulsory sport that would require changing my clothes in a room full of boys. That really would have been embarrassing.
I found myself making friends with several girls in my year, but could not settle with the boys and their interests in football or cricket. And I could not afford all the latest games and collectors cards.
Very soon after Carol went back to College. She left before term had really started on the pretext of sorting out her accomodation. I knew she was desperate to see Fizz again.
It had been a long summer.
She was sure that she would still be sharing the house with Charlie and took a short note from me.
The pressure of my final year left little room for fun. Any work I could do to earn extra money I could not turn down.
Mother fretted and helped in small ways, but she worked hard to keep the house going and to provide for Carol.
As usual Carol came home for Christmas. After breakfast we opened our presents together. Carol had bought me a book with a note that said
"Careful. & real present to follow. Love SisXX"
I thanked her and kissed her affectionately. After we had cleared away and helped Mother with preparing Christmas lunch, I followed Carol to her room. There she handed me another gift. When I opened this it was a beautifull matching bra a brief set with soft high mesh stockings. I threw my arms round her neck and kissed her.
I had to strip and try the clothes on. They looked and felt gorgeous.
Christmas lunch itself was a bit stayed and boring. Probably more so than before. Carol kept up with some chatter about college and some of the parties she went to. Always there was the under-laying problem of her not having a boyfriend. She did meet several boys at various functions and made sure she mentioned their names.
On boxing day we visited relatives together and had the usual "Gosh are't you growing!"
When Carol sloped off with our cousins, I tagged along. The conversation slipped to girlie talk and the rest of the boys moaned and left. When I did not leave but stayed and joined in, I reveived a raised eyebrow. I reluctantly took the hint and went off on my own.
Carol did not stay for the rest of the holiday but had an excuse about staying with friends from college. Mother moaned about her little kiddies growing up. But she seemed happy in a way that Carol was expanding her horizons and getting her own life.
The looming mock exams meant I was busy revising. The exams in january went alright and I continued to study.
After Easter I was too busy with school and my final exams to vary from my path. Mother kept me busy and it was not until I had finished that the pressure eased up.
Through our letters I arranged to visit Carol again just before the end of her university term.
On the train I took my case into the toilet and there converted Paul to Paula.
When I stepped off the train I was a vulnerable, pretty young girl.
Carol and Fizz greeted my with much hugging and kissing.
At the house we chatted away like a old friends. Relaxed, friendly and just how it ought to be.
“Fizz” I said “I know you helped in getting me to accept my feminine side, and I want to thank you. I hope we will be friends for a long time”
Chapter 25
When we heard Charlie at the front door I suddenly felt nervous about our meeting.
I stood and straightened my skirt. brushed myself day and felt the clammy cold of my hands.
‘What would she say?’
‘What should I say?’
‘How do I tell her about me?’
These and many other thoughts assaulted me and made me almost lose my nerve. The decision to keep Paula now started to shake.
Carol say my anxiety and gave me a pecked kiss on the cheek.
“Steady there girl. You’re gonna be alright. Trust me”
I tried to smile at her.
Charlie burst into the room.
“Hi all” She grinned. Then she spotted me and stopped in her tracks.
“Paula!!!” Her eyes opened in what? Surprise? Shock?
She threw herself towards me almost knocking me off my feet. Her arms were around my neck and suddenly we were kissing passionately.
I held her firm body to me tightly and never wanted this moment to end.
We came up for air stared at each other for a while then resumed our passionate kissing.
“Come on you guys, lets get some grub” Carol said patting Charlie playfully on the bottom.
“I didn’t know you were coming round” Charlie gushed. “It’s so good to see you”
“And you” I replied quietly. My eyes were downcast. I still hated having to deceive her.
“Hang on.” I said, as I suddenly understood her comment. “Didn’t Carol tell you I was coming for the weekend?”
“No.” She grabbed my hands. “I kept asking about you. And asking if you could come to stay again. I mean It’s not as if it’s really a problem. Carol seemed very evasive. I wondered what was going on. I thought maybe she had something going with you and was jealous, or something. I don’t know”
“I know it’s been difficult. I’ll explain it all later” I reassured her.
As usual over supper Charlie jabbered away telling us all about the rowing finals, her feelings and thoughts about her team mates.
Her conversation was peppered with innuendos puns and jokes. She was great fun to be with.
After clearing, up we carried the remains of the bottle of wine though to the sitting room and all cuddled up to each other round a pair of new bean bags.
“So what have you been up to?” Charlie asked at last.
“Oh finishing my ‘A’ levels and not a lot else. I said sighing. It had been hard work.
“Well what did you do when you weren’t studying?” She continued.
“I read. Played a bit. I really haven’t had much time for hobbies or anything during this last year. “
“Why the pressure? I mean it’s surely not that important is it?”
“It may be. My parents are divorced and Mum works hard to look after u.. me. I almost tripped up, but corrected myself in time.
“I want to be able to get a job, leave home and support myself.”
“So what do you want to do?” Charlie was by now gently stroking my leg.
“I don’t really know” I said and realised I had been hoping to discuss this very subject with the girls this weekend in the hopes of seeing a way forward.
Very soon all four of us had hands exploring each others bodies. Clothing
started to get loosened and discarded. I was the only one who kept any clothing on.
“Let me.“ I said as I pushed Charlie back and kissed her firmly. I pulled her meagre clothes from her gorgeous body.
Once I had her naked, I kissed her from her neck down her small firm breasts, over her trim tummy and slowly down to the sweet smelling piece of heaven. I still marvelled at the effect her smell had on me.
I lingered over her curly tufts then slobbered wetly down the side of her puffy lips. I went carefully around her lips, avoiding her sensitive bits until she opened like a flower. Then I gently licked and sucked closer and closer to her hardening little hood.
When I attacked her button she was thrashing and moaning in wild abandon.
I sensed her approaching orgasm and licked harder until I felt her warm gush to my tongue. I slowed my licking and sucking, enjoying the sharp taste of her lubrication. Then eased myself back up her body and lay contentedly stroking her fabulous body. When Charlie had revived a little from her orgasmic high she started stroking my legs until she reached the soft cotton panties at my crotch. When she touched me there it felt so wonderful. I wanted her to go further and yet I didn’t want the sensation to stop.
As her fingers sought out my intimate bits I reluctantly pulled away.
Charlie open her dreamy eyes to loom at me questioningly.
I realised now was the time.
“Charlie I…“
How to start?
“Charlie I can’t go on likes this I need to talk to you”
She looked concerned.
“What’s the matter girl. I don’t understand.”
“Charlie. I care about you deeply. I may even love you, but I need to tell you.
I’m … I’m
Oh shit. Look sit up and be serious for a moment. “
Charlie Sat up and pulled her knees towards her. She frowned. I knew this wasn’t going well.
“Charlie I’m really a boy.” I had reverted to my normal voice.
She gasped and her eyes widened in shock.
“What?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t want to deceive you. This was not meant to happen this way. I’m Carols brother Paul.”
Now that I had started It was going to get easier. But it was still going to hurt.
“What?” she gasped again.
At least she hadn’t run screaming from the room.
“I came to visit her last year. I arrived as a boy. She told me this was an all girl house so Carol and Fizz helped me dress up like this.
Actually I had been dressing as a girl for a long time before that. Fizz and Carol have been helping me.
I sort of, well I thought you were wonderful and funny and sexy and beautiful and what happened just sort of happened. I didn’t stop it then because I thought it was all going to be over after that first weekend was over.
But I really want to see you again.
I’m sorry I don’t like deceiving you”
There were the beginnings of tears in Charlie’s eyes.
“I need to think about this” She said grabbing her clothes and striding from the room.
Carol and Fizz had sensibly stopped their petting and kept quiet. Now with a nudge from Carol Fizz left the room.
Carol knelt next to me.
“That was well done” She said. “I don’t know how this will work out but I will support you in whatever you want to do.”
“I didn’t want to tell her you were coming to stay, in case you changed your mind. Or didn’t want to get too involved.” She stood up.
“You better sleep on the sofa”
Although it was still early I guessed she wanted to go upstairs and join Fizz.
Carol left the room. When she returned a few minutes later with the sleeping bag and pillow, she was naked.
In other circumstances I might have reacted or commented. Instead I continued staring at the floor.
After a long while I removed the bulk of Paula’s clothes. I kept the bra and panties on and wore a nightdress that Carol had loaned me, then crawled into the sleeping bag.
The Sofa was hard and lumpy and I found it difficult to get to sleep.
It was nearly dark when I heard the door open and soft footsteps across the room.
“Paula?” It was Charlie’s voice but soft and subdued in a way I had not heard her before.
In a way I was surprised that she still thought of me as Paula.
“Yes I’m awake.”
She sat on the floor next to me.
“I think. “. She stopped as if searching for the right words.
I knew what she felt like.
She had come back to talk to me and hope blossomed within.
“I think it’s you that I like. I don’t know how we can be friends but somehow I want to still be friends”
“That would be nice.”
“I thought of myself as a lezzy. But I suppose technically I am not” She said.
“Well that’s the tricky bit. You thought I was a girl and we made love in a girly fashion.”
“I don’t really like boys. Yet I like you. It’s a bit confusing.”
“Then treat me like a girl. Forget I am or ever was a boy. Think of me as Paula, That’s who I want to be.”
“Do you… Do you want to have… You know THE op?”
“I really don’t know. I don’t think so. I may decide to go that route in a few years but I don’t think so.“
“What do you want to do?”
“Well I want to move away from home so that I can live in girls clothes. To enjoy dressing and acting like a girl. I much prefer Girls Company when they think I am a girl too. It’s very different from being a boy and being treated like one.
“What about sex?”
“That’s something I am still discovering and learning about.”
“What does that mean. What I mean is how do you… What do you..?”
“I don’t know. If you mean ‘How do I have sex? ‘ then I have in the past masturbated as a boy. However with Fizz I have discovered that petting and, I suppose, masturbating more like a girl is far nicer. “
“Last time I was here I kissed you down there. Fizz was rubbing me and stroking my own pussy. I do think of it as a girls pussy. Fizz rubbed me and I thought I was in heaven. Just bringing you off and watching your pleasure, tasting your nectar is almost enough on it’s own.“
“Do you really mean that?” Charlie reached for me and stroked my cheek.
“Oh yes. Yes I do.“
“When I first discovered. Well oral sex…
No!
I discovered watching a neighbour getting it from her boyfriend. But shortly after that I was sort of forced to do it to Fizz..”
“Forced?” Charlie asked.
I told her about the day of Carols dress fitting and the reward they gave me. How I was tied up and more or less forced to pleasure Fizz.
“The truth is, at the time I desperately wanted to do exactly that. And it was all I dreamt it would be.
I love pleasuring you. You taste so good. Like.. like I don’t know There is a hint of Marmite, salt, sweet. But it taste good. I love it when you ‘Cum’. You gush.”
“And I love the way you talk like that. I love what you do with your mouth. You’re better than any girl I’ve been with. “
She leant against me and sighed.
“Well at least come and sleep with me tonight. I don’t know how we’re going to get along but I want to work it out.”
“Ok”
We held hands climbing the stairs and fell into Charlie’s bed. We didn’t do anything, just fell asleep in each others arms. Content with each other. It was certainly more comfortable than the sofa.
Chapter 26
I woke to the feel of Charlie kissing me.
“Morning sleepy head.”
I gazed into her beautiful face.
What a wonderful way to start a day. I smiled back.
We cuddled for a while and stroked each other. Our hands gently explored each other.
“Can I ? You know. See how you do your..?”
I nodded.
Charlie threw back the bed covers
Hesitantly she drew my nightdress up to my chest.
“You look so girly there. I really can’t believe this.”
Slowly she drew my panties down.
There was my curving ‘Pussy’
“Wow” she breathed.
Slowly she reached out and touched me.
As her fingers made contact my hips twitched. Her fingers felt nice against me.
I pulled the night dress up further and showed her my waist shaper.
I turned over so that she could see the ‘Gaff’ and how it was fixed to my waist shaper to hold my male organ in it’s place
She undid it and freed me. Unwrapped my little parcel.
My organ sprang to attention.
“I prefer Paula.” She said.
“So do I. So do I.”
“Does it hurt?”
“No. There is a slight discomfort, if I happen to be stiff when strapping it in place, but that soon passes and it just feels nice. I love the way it looks. “
“Don’t you have any hair?”
“No. I shave every day. It doesn’t take long.”
“How do you go to the toilet?” She was so inquisitive. At least she was not turned off.
“I have to loosen the gaff. But I just pull it forward and sit down. Then I do it like a girl.”
Charlie giggled.
“Can I put it back now?”
“Yes. Please.”
Charlie wrapped my male organ back into the ‘gaff’ and tied it away.
She pulled my panties back up again.
“It is amazing. You do have a lovely mound. Very like a girl.”
“But not as pretty as yours.”
“Do you think so?”
“Oh yes.” I said. “As a boy I have looked at a few magazines. You are by far the prettiest.”
She giggled again. Still rubbing my mound. I could feel the pleasure building.
Charlie lay next to me again but carried on rubbing me between the legs. I turned and kissed her and returned the complement, touching tenderly over her soft sweet lips.
Very soon we were both gasping and writhing in joy.
We came within minutes of each other in gentle un-hurried orgasms, and broke our impassioned kiss
Carol burst in with the morning tea to find us in the same position.
“Well you two seem to have worked things out.” She said.
“Yes!” I replied happily.
We both sat up and drank our tea.
“Oh Gosh! " Charlie gasped lookign at her watch. "Gotta rush. Meet me in town at ten.” Charlie dressed quickly and left me to shower, shave and dress up.
At breakfast I told Carol about our conversation and what had happened. She was genuinely pleased for me.
We sat and chatted for a while until we had to walk into town.
Charlie had told Carol to meet her at the sundial. We had a half hour walk to get there.
Charlie was waiting for us and smiled as we approached. We hugged and kissed, then Charlie grabbed my hand and led my across the road.
We were in a rather nice boutique. Charlie started grabbing clothes and piling them on her arms. I followed a bit bewildered, until she held one of the skirts against me.
“That would suit you.”
“But I can’t afford that” I said shocked.
“Alright. My Treat.” She said simply grabbing at some more things.
“But Charlie you can’t”
“Says who?” She said sternly.
“But why?”
“Because I want my girlfriend to look pretty. I want to see you in more feminine sexy things. So that’s what you’re getting”
“But Charlie you can’t mean it.”
“Oh yes I do. Now shut up and enjoy.”
“Ok. And thanks.”
She pulled out lots of pinks and red clothes, lots of blouses and skirts. Several dresses. Then arm full of underwear. I could not keep up with her.
We were all loaded when we left.
I nearly died when I saw the bill and again protested.
“No!” Charlie said firmly. “No more nonsense or I shall have to spank you.”
I smiled at her joke. But shut up.
We walked for a while until we came to a rather dinghy back street off the main road.
A shop set back from the road looked very dodgy to me. But Charlie led us inside.
The interior was a surprise. It was elegantly decorated and quite up market.
We put down the bags and Charlie led me to and assistant.
I was told to remove my skirt and blouse.
The assistant then measured me and studied me for a while.
I was led to a fitting room and the three girls had me try on about half a dozen corsets.
Charlie bought me a couple of waist shapers similar to the one Fizz had given me.
There were also three full body basques with really stiff boning, a couple of bustiers, And some full corsets even bigger than the basques.
Only one of these was suitable for immediate use. The rest Charlie paid to have fitted to take my ‘Gaff’.
If I had any doubts about the strangeness of the situation, the shop assistant showed no sign that anything was out of the ordinary.
I dressed again and we continued on our way.
The next stop was another rather rundown looking shop. Inside were an amazing range of articles I could not even begin to describe.
Charlie bought several things. She had such confidence and seemed to know what she was doing. I just stood around like a spare part.
We were a heavily burdened party as we made our way back to the house.
After a brief lunch Charlie insisted on ushering us into the sitting room to try everything on me.
I loved the restricted feeling the basques gave. They made my boyish body look much more feminine.
I tried on all the bras, panties, slips and clothes.
After over an hour of dressing and undressing we were all almost drunk on giggles and emotion.
I held Charlie to me and kissed her with gratitude.
“I don’t know how to say thank you. I just love it. I never expected to ever own such lovely things and never so many.”
“You will have to leave some of them here. But you should be able to take some back with you. If you are careful.” Carol advised. “Gosh I’m nearly jealous, you’ve got some nicer things than I’ve got.”
“I know and I will try to show my thanks.” I kissed Charlie again, until we were both panting for breath.
That night I dressed in my most appealing, prettiest underwear. I chose the things that Charlie had said she liked me in best of all. Then I made love to her in her bed.
I was slow and gentle and careful. I used my mouth and my hands to arouse and excite her. I spent ages bringing her to the brink then backing off and cooling down. All the time trying to show my love and appreciation. Then I intensified my efforts to bring her to a series of orgasms that left her gasping.
Finally late, late at night she gasped. “Enough. Enough.”
Almost as soon as I stopped, she fell deeply asleep.
I lay beside her and cuddled her. Happy in the knowledge that her body was mine to enjoy.
Chapter 27
I think waking to find Charlie kissing me, persuaded me that I wanted nothing more out of life.
Charlie got out of bed first. She laid out clothes for me then dressed herself. Her wardrobe was very limited. She did have a few pretty feminine things, including a black velvet dress that I would love to see her wear. Mostly though Charlie wore black jeans and sweat shirts.
Whilst Charlie was making our morning tea, I showered, shaved and got myself ready. She reappeared in time to help me adjust my gaff and kissed me as I tried to straighten my new, pretty panties.
We broke apart, giggling.
When Carol asked us if we slept ok, I blushed but Charlie said “Not much sweetie
“My little tart here kept me gasping all night. She is one hell of a good lover.”
I blushed again.
“Enjoying yourself?” Carol asked looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“I never knew life could be this good.” I said honestly.
“So! Are you ready to go a step further?” Charlie asked putting her hand on my leg.
A brief flicker of fear darted across my mind like a mayfly. Then my trust in Charlie resurfaced.
Carol had blackmailed and forced me to go where I was not at first willing to go. Now I never wanted to go back. I knew that it was a cultural expectation that I had been frightened of. I had wanted to go there deep inside.
Charlie had pushed me a bit further and bought me wonderful things that made me tingle in delight just thinking about.
I would trust Charlie with my life. I probably was doing.
“Whatever you want dear.” I said, content in my love of her.
“In that case maybe a day out.” She said, “We’ll be back for supper tonight.“ She said to Carol. “I’ve cancelled rowing training for today. I’m gonna take my sweet little tart for a drive.”
I blushed at the name she kept using for me. A tart was something naughty. Yet I loved being thought of as girl. Her tart. The mixture of emotions it bought to me made me blush. Much later I realised that was why Charlie used it. She like seeing me blush.
I did not know Charlie had her own car. We had previously walked round town or used Fizzes Mini. Charlie led me behind the house to a locked garage where she kept her car. It was a bright red sleek, mazda sportscar.
I clapped my hands together in delight.
“Wow” That must cost a fortune.
“Not so much sweetie.” She said casually.
I held my skirt and climbed into the car in the way I had learned girls should do.
The seat was almost on the ground. Inside smelled of new leather and polish.
I was in awe.
I thrilled at the deep throaty roar as Charlie started the engine.
We drove out of town and headed for the motorway. Once cruising comfortably Charlie reached over and placed a hand on my legs. She slid up to the stocking tops and caressed me.
“What are you really doing at University?” I asked.
“You mean why?”
“Yes.” I said. “There is more going on than you talk about. And yet you really do talk”
I teased her about her ability to talk all day.
Charlie smiled.
“Mostly I’m trying to be independent of Daddy. There is also an element of it that mirrors your own situation. Back home I’m expected to be a young lady. Whenever I wear trousers I get a lecture. There’s an expectation of me that I hate. They want me to be somebody I’m not.
At Uni. I can relax. I like pushing myself at the sports I enjoy. I try not to think of the future beyond that.”
“When did you find out you liked girls?”
“You mean when did I discover I was lezzy?” She was so brazen.
“I guess I have always been that way. I like pretty things, just, not on me,
“Hmm!” Here eyes seemed a bit distant for a while. I was glad the motorway was not busy.
“There was a party. A family do. A couple of years back. Even the kids got hold of some bottles. We really had our own party in the family room. The grown-ups party was in the main hall and overflowed to the pool.”
“it sounds big” I questioned.
“Yes. A fair sized house. Not a mansion exactly. There are only 10 bedrooms. It does have a ballroom big enough for 50 or so people to party. Father had patio doors fitted on the back that open onto the patio by the pool. Then there is the pool house itself. With a bar, showers, a snooker room and a sitting area with easy chairs and such.
“Anyway, I was saying, the adults had their party, and the youngsters party was in the family room. At first several ‘Mums’ kept an eye on us, but I guess they gradually got distracted. A cousin broke out a bottle and we all started drinking. It got quite riotous. The boys started trying to grab girls. There were a few relationships already and some of the couples were snogging in corners.
One of the guys hit on me and was coming on a bit strong. I didn’t really like him, He was a bit too macho. He took after his Father with his arrogance.
Jailed for fraud recently I think.
He tried to kiss me but was hopelessly drunk. He got his hand up my skirt and I had to fight him off. He opened his trousers and grabbed my hand to try to get me to hold his dick. It was quite horrible. Then suddenly he was making a sticky mess all over my dress.“
I smiled at the memory of my own lack of control only a year ago.
”I can’t remember much of the rest of the night. But trying to clean the dress before Mother found out was tricky.
The next day the house was still in total devastation. Dad was ill. Mother called in a firm to help clear up. Several relatives had stayed. Some had planned to. Some just collapsed round the house.
God it was a wonder nobody drowned. There were people sleeping in chairs and everything.
An older cousin, that I knew my parents hated, saw me trying to clean the dress in the outhouse and asked what had happened. I was so angry at the oaf who did it that I told her.
She told me she could be my ‘Fairy godmother’
And showed me how to clean it and even helped me dry the dress out. She was great. I could not see what it was that my parents did not like.
While we were cleaning the dress she was touching me and stroking my cheeks and being very affectionate. I liked her.
Anyway, everywhere I went that day I kept bumping into her and she was always half dressed. She had a very pretty smile.
She was nice and I was attracted to her. When she started kissing me I did not resist. She was good too. She made me feel good. She loved my tiny tits. I was a bit nervous when she first touched my pussy but she did make me feel good.
It was all too easy to end up in bed with her. We had a great time.
If my parents ever found out they would kill me.
We tried to see each other after that but it didn’t last long. I gather she likes them young. I still see her occasionally.
When I came to Uni. it was an escape. A time to be me.
There was a boy in the rowing club I rather liked. We sort of went out together for a while. After much arguing, we had sex. He was gentle, and I guess he tried his best. I just didn’t like it. I didn’t like the mess. I don’t really like things inside me.
Fizz tried to use a strap-on dildo on me once.”
“A what?” I asked
“A dildo. You know.”
“No. I don’t. I’ve heard the word but..”
“A dildo is and artificial dick. Normally they are hand held to help girls get off. I’ve got several. A strap-on one is fixed to a belt kind of thing, that a girl can wear, to shag another girl, like a guy. Fizz uses one sometimes. She is fairly aggressive.
She tried it on me, not long after we started sharing a bed.
As I said, I don’t like things inside me. I didn’t enjoy it.
I much prefer hands and mouths, especially you - sweet lips.
God I’m getting wet just thinking about your tongue.” She smiled.
I blushed.
"After the guy I was a bit uncertain for a while. I knew I enjoyed my cuz but apart from my own fingers, I hadn’t had much experience.
I got stuck into the rowing and ignored a lot of the social stuff.
One of the girls in the team made a pass at me. It was clumsy and If I was not wavering I would have ignored her. I gave her a go and we had a good time for a few months. It convinced me to stick with girls.
She was just not the right one for me.
I met Fizz at some Uni. thing and she was very obviously lezzy. I approached her and we had a few times together.
She suggested sharing the house. It’s a good arrangement. We all get on well. Then I realised she had this long term thing with Carol, but likes to venture out occasionally.
I realised I couldn’t get too involved. And I don’t like the dildo, which she does.
I have shared her bed a few time for company. We’ve had several threesomes too, which can be fun.
I’ve had a few one nighters. I get bored with my own fingers.”
“I never realised girls could be like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know. Play with themselves.”
“Masturbate. Play the pussy. Strum the thumb.
Yes. Most girls I know do. Some only occasionally. Talking to the girls in the team they all say they want more sex, the more they train. The joke in the team is the cox who likes cocks.“ She giggled at her joke.
“I do find after a days hard training I get horny as hell.”
“And since you’re asking questions. Let me tell you another thing. Uncle Julian. Dear uncle Julian. He’s another embarrassment to my parents. He is as they say, ‘As bent as a nine bob note’.
I like him. He’s great fun. As gay as they come. Makes no secret of it.
He can be really nice. Very proper, You know.“ She mocked a typical British accent.
“But when he relaxes he’s a bit ducky.
I met him once with one of his boyfriends and he was all dressed up as a girl. Lovely purple frilly dress. A pair of big frilly panties, that he flashed everyone. He is so completely over the top. He’s quite a hoot.” She sounded affectionate. She seemed to admire him.
“Now I am not attracted to him in that way at all. And he has no interest in girls. But I like him. He’s kind of refreshing from the stuffiness or arrogance of so many of my family.
As an Uncle he has been good to me.
What I mean is... I rang him on Friday to chat about you.”
I was a bit taken back that she had talked to anyone. I was not used to this. I realised I was going to have to get used to it. I hade made my decision. I had been honest with Charlie. I was going to have to get used to this sort of situation.
“And?”
“He was very helpful. He’s very caring. He asked me lots of questions and made me think about the situation from a different angle. Then he suggested a few things to try.
Yesterday developed from that conversation.
And, you see, today developed from yesterday.”
“What does that mean?”
“You will see shortly.”
We sat in thought for quite a while and soon we were dodging down the back streets of some strange town.
We parked at a meter by some shops. I tried to get out of the sports car in a ladylike fashion and smiled to myself when I saw several blokes at the building site staring at me.
We crossed the road, rounded the corner and Charlie led me into a small shop.
There was at first no indication of what it did.
Inside I realised this was a sex clinic. This shop was my Aladdin’s cave. They specialised in helping boys become girls. I never knew such a place existed. I was overwhelmed with relief, as I realised that there must be considerable demand to sustain a shop of this sort.
Over the next few hours, Charlie bought me a lovely, realistic pair of silicon breasts.
They stuck to my chest and filled my bras. They felt good. Almost realistic.
“Bitch.” Charlie Joked. “They’re bigger than mine.”
I smiled and kissed her.
We bought new penis gaffs, shoes, wigs. There were specialist products to hide my meagre stubble. Then best of all some hormone treatments.
We had a long discussion with the staff and settled on a program that we all agreed to.
The journey back to Carols and Charlie’s house went by so quickly. I kept trying to say my thanks to Charlie. She kept on about how I would look and then going off at tangents with the sexual preferences of some of her friends. How she knew so much I really do not know.
After a light supper we quickly retreated to Charlie’s room. I wore the breast form under a red lacy Basque. I wore the new gaff under a pair of outrageous black panties. I made up my hair. Repaired my nails.
I loved the way I looked. Charlie almost couldn’t keep her hands off me.
Then we made love. This was not just sex anymore.
I loved her more than anything.
I did everything I could to pleasure her.
She must have orgasmed ten to fifteen times. I had two small orgasms under her gentle touching, and finally a big overwhelming one, when she pushed me hard and rubbed my Panties with one of her Dildoes.
After that one I could hardly move.
We slept the sleep of exhaustion.
Chapter 28
I dressed simply to say my goodbyes. I packed as much of my new stuff as I could manage, and left the rest in Charlie’s room.
We had tearful goodbyes, before Carol drove me to the station.
I changed back into some of my male clothes on the train. I left on the soft sensual female underclothes. I still wore a bra and panties, stockings and garter belt and a satin slip. Then I put on my trousers and a brushed cotton shirt. I put trainers on my feet and sighed.
I greeted Mother with a kiss and told her some of Carols news. It was hard to invent stories of what I did over the weekend as I could not tell what I really had done. I did tell her about Charlie. Most of that I could tell her the truth. I was keen on her. She was fun. Chatty. Pretty.
Mother smiled quietly to herself, but I could read her mind. She thought I had at last got myself a girlfriend. Well I had.
I went to the end of year party, It was fine but I really wanted to go as Paula with Charlie.
I got myself a summer job to earn some money and waited for my exam results.
Soon Carol came home for the summer. She was not going to stay for long as she had arranged some holiday with Fizz.
Mother moaned about her spending too much time with ‘That girl’ .
Carol was sweet and we chatted a lot and did ‘girl talk’ together.
We tried to think of ways to talk to Mother about the future. We both knew that sometime we would have to break the news and it was not going to be easy.
I was using the hormone treatment and enjoying some of the changes. My skin improved. My meagre beard growth slowed down.
The creams and hormones had also started my own real breasts growing.
We had to do something.
After some discussion we decide to try to arrange a meeting.
Carol contacted Fizz and I contacted Charlie.
We arranged for Carol to have a small birthday party and more or less told Mother that they were coming.
There was a sombre mood to the present opening. The happiness of the occasion marred by the forthcoming talk.
We wavered a lot of the problem of my appearance. I never wanted Charlie to see me as a boy. I never wanted her to have that memory to influence her relationship with me.
Fizz arrived early and although greeted enthusiastically by Carol got a very cool reception from Mother.
Carol and Fizz spent most of the day in Carol’s room. No doubt getting intimate. They socialised a little.
I stood by the front window waiting for Charlie. When her sports car roared into the driveway I ran upstairs to my room, stopping to inform Carol.
Carol and Fizz greeted Charlie warmly, and introduced her to Mother. I could hear laughter and knew Charlie was her usual happy self.
I carefully selected the clothes. I put on my breast forms, waist shaper and gaff. I put on stockings and suspender belt. I put on the silkiest bar and Panties. Then my most flattering skirt and silk blouse. I brushed out my hair to the style Charlie liked. I painted my toes and finger nails. I put mascara on my eyelashes and applied light make-up to my eyes and cheeks. Finally I slipped on a pair of light sandals.
I took a deep breath and tried to summon all the courage I had.
To say I walked downstairs would be a gross understatement. I sashayed. I progressed. I was going to be a woman. And now was one of the critical moments.
I stepped into the lounge.
Carol had arranged for the thee girls to be together and for Mother to be there and hopefully sitting down.
She stood and looked shocked as I walked in. Who was this stranger in her house?
When the understanding dawned, her eyes widened and her hand shot to her mouth.
The fact that nobody else reacted probably slowed her down, by then the girls were greeting me as Paula.
Charlie flung her arms round my neck. I returned her kiss, then tried to cool her down.
Carol and Fizz greeted me as an old friend.
Carol quickly handed everyone a glass of wine and motioned for Fizz and Charlie to sit down.
Mother gulped at her wine almost in a trance.
Carol and I stood by the window, waiting for the moment.
“Mother..” She began. “There are some things we need to talk about.
“But dear not now. Not with guests in the house.” She was still trying to get a grip on herself so this was said without much conviction.
“Precisely with the guests in the house.” Carol said firmly.
“Firstly I am gay. I am a lesbian.” She breathed a sigh. She had said it and there was no going back. Mother’s face turned white.
“I know you always hoped I would meet Mr right and give you grandchildren, but Mother. Fizz and I are in love and we intend to live together. An yes we have sex together and have done so for a long time." She hesitated then took another deep breath. "
I know this is a shock but we have to face the truth. I’m grown up and am leaving home. I'm sorry, but thats just the way it is.”
Mother stuttered. Trying to find some solid ground under her shifting feet..
Carol looked sideways at me and I took my queue.
“And although you think of me as Paul your son. I am going to become Paula.”
I used both of my voices to emphasise the difference.
“I have been a transvestite for a long time and I am going to live the rest of my life as a woman, and… “ I took a deep breath. “I am going to be living with Charlie here. We met last year and have been in love for most of that. So in a sense we will live together as two lesbians as well.”
Poor Mother nearly fainted. She gulped at her wine and was near to tears.
Give her her dues. She didn’t break down or scream hysterically.
That day I threw all of my old boys clothes away. Charlie helped me pack and we took the next couple of days ferrying things to the house they shared.
Carol stayed for a few days then she and Fizz went off on holiday together.
Mother coped although she was bitterly disappointed. She never really came to terms with our decisions.
She kept saying “Whatever makes you happy dear.” but it always seemed a bit forced. She never asked any questions.
She lied to most of the relatives and made us swear not embarrass her.
We tried to maintain contact but it was forever distant.
At first Charlie supported me while I learned to type and do secretarial things.
She said she would support me forever if I kept my tongue busy on her. I wanted something else though. I learned a trade and got a job. We lived together and shared things as a couple.
When Charlie finished at University we bought a house together. She mostly worked from home. She also wanted to keep up a lot of her sports. I accompanied her and helped as a maid and secretary.
A year or so later we arranged to get married.
The simple ceremony at the registry office was interesting in itself. I tried to keep to my promise of never letting Charlie see me as a male. So I was a man being a girl pretending to be a man. The result was distinctly androgynous.
We had a few pictures for her to send to her family.
We still had not worked out how to clear things properly with them.
We then had another ceremony with all our friends and only a couple of relatives, including of course ‘Uncle Julie-an’
For this we dressed the way we really wanted. I was lavishly dressed as the bride and Charlie was the bride groom. It was a great party and everything a wedding ought to be.
We decided to follow through and that night I went to bed as a demure blushing bride, in pretty scanty baby doll. Charlie came to me wearing a big strap on dildo. She took my ‘anal virginity’ and penetrated my ‘pussy’. We spent the night exploring each other and finding news ways to please each other. We finished in our usual manner of me tonguing Charlie to her climax whilst she rubbed my panty covered mound to my own wonderfull orgasm.
We both enjoyed the dildo, partly for the strong symbolism. We occasionally used in our love making afterwards, but it was never the main part of our sex.
Carol and Fizz live only a few miles away and we are still good friends. We’ve even shared a bed occasionally.
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